Atul in Action

It was the third day of General Induction for Piramal fellows, batch five. The first day was laden with self discovery and self expression. The sessions were immensely fun and no doubt highly energy consuming. The second day had more to do with the organization’s processes and slightly more one sided sessions...

The fellows were pumped with energy and excitement; they were being inducted into a new world... There was still something amiss... probably a sense of being connected to the fellowship or the ability to picture their own 2 year journey,perhaps??

The third day unfolded itself with a general assembly and then a surprise was in store for all of us- a guy steped ahead with the mike, he was tall, dressed in Kurta & pyjamas, a safa fastened around his head-he obviously looked very different, we had seen him hang around the place for the last two days. Few of us knew him by name and a few of us had conversed with him but there wasn't mutual clarity on who he was- some guessed that he was related to Vivek Sharma and a few others felt he was a program leader(pL). PL he was, but hardly anyone had guessed that Atul kotnala was a survivor, an achiever who had not just completed two years of the Piramal Fellowship but had accomplished great things (esp, Self Change). He had done what the fifth batch of Piramal Fellows were setting out to do...He was here today to share the story of his journey as a fellow.

Atul’s instructions are clear: “I will share my two year journey but I don’t give away things for free...You guys will get a sheet of paper and a few colours. As I narrate my story, I will pause for five minutes after even event. During this time, I want you guys to sketch your impressions of my journey on those sheets. “

It was only then that we noticed a strange garland around Atul’s neck. He moved around the hall, the dholak playing in tune to his steps, showing us the bits of folded card paper around his neck. There were few letters written on them and there were a few pictures drawn on some cards.

He tore away the first card and someone in the audience read out what was written on it- “RC”. What is RC? The audience made several guesses- “Royal Challengers” and “Rajasthan, Churu” being some of them. Atul was smiling, obviously enjoying the fact that we were nowhere near guessing what the letters really meant.

Atul then said “Mera RC kuch alag tha. I had boarded a bus from Delhi to Jhunjhunu with two other fellows. We did not get any ticket, the bus was full and we ended up sitting on top of the bus. It was a surprise because I had assumed the bus would be empty- who would be travelling to a place unheard of like Jhunjhunu? Once we reached the Delhi- Gurgaon fly over, I had my first RC (Reality Check). I realized that for a part of India, travelling like this was a reality.” Atul gave away his card to Sunil Gurung.

The dholak played again, indicating that it was time for us to draw... Boro was caught up with black pastels and 3D images of buses, Rohit who was sitting next to me chose more colors, Abhay clearing announcing his handicap to art, went straight ahead to expressing his interpretation of Atul’s narration. It was very fascinating to note how everyone dived into action; nobody spent extra time on timing. It seemed like they already had visualized Atul’s story...

After a pause of five minutes, the dholak played frenziedly. Atul went up to a few fellows and asked them what was on this card- “WTF”

Again, the audience made a few obvious guesses but they were all far away from what Atul wanted to ask: Why the Fellowship

After having his first reality check, Atul started pondering over the question of what the fellowship meant to him and why he wanted to do the fellowship. Joining the fellowship is a huge decision and a difficult one at that. All of there had taken to decision to be there, so what were the thoughts and feelings we had while we were thinking about joining? He gave away this card to Ashwini who had asked him innumerable questions before joining the fellowship.

The drawing started again, with great ease and eagerness. Though this was Atul’s story, it was funny how we instantly connected to it. The relation we were forming was most definitely beyond description.

Atul started moving around the hall again, his moves beautifully synchronized with the dholak’s beats. One member in the audience tears out the next card from the garland- there are four ‘C’s written on it. After another failed attempt at guessing what the ‘C’s could possibly mean, Atul continued his narration-

“Mere char ‘C’s thod alag hai. Change, charcha, chai , ciggrette. Mera General Induction ke time pe, there was a lot of Change pe charcha, charcha pe chai, chai pe cigarette. Chai and cigarettes had a way of bonding people... I am not promoting or asking you to pick up new habits, all ‘am doing is sharing my experience.”

The dholak starts... we all turn our attention to the sheets. A little away from me, I see Mayur's interpretation of Atul’s story. It is minimalist and logical, in tandem with the physicist in him.

Atul moved on to his next story of how when he came drenched in rainwater to the school, one of the kids went and switched off the fan saying – “bhaiyya bhig gaye hai. Sardi ho jayegi to?” Atul’s voice quivered just a bit but we barely needed to notice that... If you were present, you would’ve seen a collective ‘awww’ from the girls (it’s another discussion that Atul tends to have that effect on girls...) and a sigh from the boys.

Back to those sheets we went. People have started to add more details to their drawings- a sure sign of increased clarity in their imagination.

He next shared his village immersion story of how a feast was laid in front of him because he was a Brahmin. The lady of the house asked him how the food was and he had replied “didi khana khane main maaja nahi aaya, kyunki aap agar mereko woh khilate jo aap roz khud khate toh mereko jyada maaja aata.” Once he fed the didi who cooks the mid-day meal at school and she was so over whelmed that she cried, nobody had fed her in a long time.

There is silence in the hall, one can sense that the atmosphere is sombre and everyone feels a sense of respect for the choices Atul has made. Though I’ve done a VI as well, I know what Atul is saying must have been very difficult choices to have taken then. The drawing is slow and takes longer time not because we are not prepared to draw but because we wanted to get the feel of this picture just right. It’s easy to draw objects, how do you interpret, imagine emotions? And for those sitting in the hall, it was again obvious- we were no longer just listeners, we were participants in Atul’s journey, as if we’ve been beside him all this while.

We lived one after another story that Atul shared and drew with the same frenzy with which the dholak played. We perfectly understood Atul’s incredulity post- personal reflection when he realized that his team barely knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We laughed with Atul when he narrated the story of how his mother still wanted him to do an MBA so she could market him for marriage (MBA is a good and desirable qualification for 'ladki ke gharwale').

By now I notice the uniqueness of each one’s drawing, someone is making a mind map of Atul’s journey whilst some others are using only a single colour throughout, drawing flash cards of his journey. It was very interesting to observe that each one had hung on to Atul’s words, and though they had all sketched out his journey, they had completely personalized it at the same time. It was no longer only his story...

By the time he was sharing his learning from the two years, I see mouths ajar, respect and love oozing out of very soul in the hall... Atul continued- “My biggest learning was to understand & be aware of my own self, be responsible for my own actions- my own strengths and weaknesses. So the outside world had minimal influence on me. My second biggest learning- keep doing little experiments with yourself. From hearsay I would understand that people were discriminated but what was the truth in it and how do people really feel in reality, I did not know. I also learnt to build relationships- with the landlord, the dhaba I visited. I started relating to people irrespective of their artificial rankings. I feel happy and contended when I am able to treat people equally. Having said all of this, it’s also necessary to know that yeh mera sach hai aur mein umeed kartan hun ki tumhari sach ko tum khud dhundoge.”

To resort to an old but appropriate cliché, the applause was deafening! There are smiles all around and the environment is very different, there is happiness, love, respect but above all else, we felt a sense of togetherness, could feel a bond uniting us all...

I remember the fellows giving Atul their praises and though I don’t remember the exact words, I remember feeling overwhelmed after I heard each of the fellows. All I had for Atul was a tight hug, I was so happy. There are so few people like Atul who can so comfortably and with ease spread goodness and happiness around...

I remember seeing all the art work with Atul and Parijat on our way back from Khetri. Each of us couldn’t stop gushing over how beautiful the drawings were, we could see a little bit of everyone in those sheets...