Finally, wanting to be anything other than a hapless dreamaaar ala Osborne style, I decided to get my ass off nonproductive thought cycles... I wanted to be a butterfly agin- happy, free, alive, breathing and kicking.... I wanted to stop being n doing things I always thought I wouldn't do. I kicked the joint, the late night calls and chains I had wrapped around myself...yes, I actually do think this much.
I was talking to a friend last night and I found the space to be myself again and that made me not just immensely happy, but also reminded me of myself. I am alive with a smile and usually love my work. I had in the fast few days forgotten this, trying to contain myself in this world... Also, I realised that this friend had given me the space to be free n secure again... And I want to be surrounded by people who are good for me.... I felt so special. Reinforces my belief na?
So having found myself last night itself, I woke up with an energy I have been missing for over a month now...my heart races as I speak because am passionate yet again, to live n work for my dreams n tap into the best of me and the world.
On the way to school, my teacher met me n we walked together n again, I was just myself- talking to him about everything under the sun and we walked 4 kms without a pause( I usually take one) and I was happy that my fitness level had improved just a little bit. During the assembly, the kids we happy to see me n I realised I missed them too. Infact, not just them, I missed the HM and the staff. I love my job and I'm glad!
In school, I informed everyone that I will no longer be singing in the assembly, the kids themselves will recite rhymes n stories... I informed the HM about this cycle, especially my English project. He was excited n that kicked me. With this slight adrelin rush, I went into the class with slo assessment sheets given to me by my organisation to assess the kids' learning level. Two main thoughts from that moment- it hurts, literally hurts to see that children are learning only this much in schools. Secondly, and more importantly, the situation is not of hopelessness but one filled with hope- full of potential. One could be cynical or be patient, that is, your and my choice to make. I chose patience...
I choose to believe in change and that is why, I will go to school tomorrow and the day after...
Inspiration has poured in from everyday people- prity, boro, kids, teachers and from everyday things- like songs ( come on a my house)and books( the success of Tao )...
Extremely thankful :) :)
